Things I've Learnt In My New Home

The more dogs running round the living room bouncing and whining, the greater the chances of us being taken for a walk.
If Mum gets distracted near dinner time (i.e. talking on the phone), going into the kitchen and pushing our metal bowl stand against the radiator usually gets the meal preparations underway.
When out walking you always get a treat for coming when called. This applies even if you go back very slowly. Apparently no matter how bad your recall is you always have to get a reward for going back at all.
Chances are that if someone has a dog then they also have treats. Rushing up to strangers and looking sad and skinny will usually get you one.
If you want some attention but can’t be bothered to get out of bed, lying there and whining while looking pathetic means Mum will come and sit next to your bed to pat you.
If you take things out of the bin you can’t get in trouble if you are back in your bed when Mum finds the mess. Closing your eyes and pretending to be asleep also helps you look more innocent.
You will always get a hug if you rush up to Mum wagging your tail.
The very best treats are saved for an activity known as training. Even if you don’t work out exactly what trick you are supposed to be doing, you usually get something just for trying.
The dog that lays down in the back of the car first gets the best space.
Mum feels guilty about leaving us so she can go to work. The sadder you look when she is getting ready to leave the better the treat you get.
Horses are faster than me, so there is no point chasing them.
There are two types of people at the vet. Nurses are kind and feed you liver, and vets poke you with things and look in your ears.
Screaming while at the vets gets you more liver from the nurses.
If Mum needs to give me tablets she always hides them in peanut butter sandwiches. It is my duty as a dog to eat the sandwich, but remove the tablets and stick them to the carpet with peanut butter.
Once a squirrel is up a tree, it's not coming back down no matter how much you bark.

Information contained herein is provided 'as is'. No warranty is given or implied. It is based on my personal experience, and that of others to which I can personally attest. However, dogs are individuals, and what works for one may not work for another.

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